I SWEAR I'm not making this up!
Okay, so it's been a while since I wrote, and family, let me just tell you that it was worth the wait. Maybe 5 years ago, I joined a stupid daily email service on a dictionary website. Doctor Dictionary, true to his word, writes me up once a day with a new vocabulary word. All the better for me to belittle those less vocabulous than me (I made that one myself).
Most of the time, I either know it already or it's a retarded word that I'll never use. Sometimes, however, I get a little nugget of goodness in my otherwise coal-ridden email box. For instance, last week, I was presented with this jewel of the english language: Nosegay. NOSEGAY! For those of you who don't know, a nosegay is a bouquet of flowers. It would go like this:
"Patrick?"
"Yes, Bruce?"
"I know you're angry with me because I borrowed your pink J Crew turtleneck sweaterrrrr. "
"Uh, YAH."
"So I brought you this nosegay of posies as a way to say I'm sorry."
"Oh, Bruce! Let's celebrate with a reach around!"
Seriously, that's the only way I can ever see that getting used. Let me tell you one thing I haven't been doing lately: Constantly repeating the word "bouquet" in conversation, just wishing there was SOME synonym I could use to mix it up a little. Nevertheless, we've got it. It's an official word, and Webster would tell you the same thing. He'd probably flick his wrist down after he said it too. Nosegay. Un-frickin-believable.
But I digress. That was not the reason I decided to post tonight. Tonight, I received the best word not only in the history of Doctor Dictionary, but in the history of the entire English language. It is so good, that I have to cut and paste it verbatim from my email. Drum roll please....
----------------------
Word of the Day for Tuesday December 6, 2005
logorrhea \law-guh-REE-uh\, noun: Excessive talkativeness or wordiness.
----------------------
That's right fam. LOGORRHEA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Just imagine the practical implications. A family member drones on about something totally annoying, ridiculous, whiny, or otherwise unacceptable. But, with the help of Doctor Dictionary, we can call them out.
"Pardon me kind sir or madam, but YOU are suffering from an INTENSE case of explosive LOGORRHEA!"
This would be immediately followed by the tradtional Logchop MotionTM, but the chop will be accompanied by a distinct fart sound effect.
NOTE: this noise is to be made only with one's mouth. This means you Double A. Seeing as how you already have both the chop and fart sound in professional athlete conditon, I expect you to hit the ground running on this one.
That is all. Had to share. And tell me that's not the best thing you've heard all week.
Z
Most of the time, I either know it already or it's a retarded word that I'll never use. Sometimes, however, I get a little nugget of goodness in my otherwise coal-ridden email box. For instance, last week, I was presented with this jewel of the english language: Nosegay. NOSEGAY! For those of you who don't know, a nosegay is a bouquet of flowers. It would go like this:
"Patrick?"
"Yes, Bruce?"
"I know you're angry with me because I borrowed your pink J Crew turtleneck sweaterrrrr. "
"Uh, YAH."
"So I brought you this nosegay of posies as a way to say I'm sorry."
"Oh, Bruce! Let's celebrate with a reach around!"
Seriously, that's the only way I can ever see that getting used. Let me tell you one thing I haven't been doing lately: Constantly repeating the word "bouquet" in conversation, just wishing there was SOME synonym I could use to mix it up a little. Nevertheless, we've got it. It's an official word, and Webster would tell you the same thing. He'd probably flick his wrist down after he said it too. Nosegay. Un-frickin-believable.
But I digress. That was not the reason I decided to post tonight. Tonight, I received the best word not only in the history of Doctor Dictionary, but in the history of the entire English language. It is so good, that I have to cut and paste it verbatim from my email. Drum roll please....
----------------------
Word of the Day for Tuesday December 6, 2005
logorrhea \law-guh-REE-uh\, noun: Excessive talkativeness or wordiness.
----------------------
That's right fam. LOGORRHEA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Just imagine the practical implications. A family member drones on about something totally annoying, ridiculous, whiny, or otherwise unacceptable. But, with the help of Doctor Dictionary, we can call them out.
"Pardon me kind sir or madam, but YOU are suffering from an INTENSE case of explosive LOGORRHEA!"
This would be immediately followed by the tradtional Logchop MotionTM, but the chop will be accompanied by a distinct fart sound effect.
NOTE: this noise is to be made only with one's mouth. This means you Double A. Seeing as how you already have both the chop and fart sound in professional athlete conditon, I expect you to hit the ground running on this one.
That is all. Had to share. And tell me that's not the best thing you've heard all week.
Z
posted by Z at 10:41 PM
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